yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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