Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
