Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
