Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
