You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
