ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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