don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
only you would photoshop your dick
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Randomize
