Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
