You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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