he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
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