so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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