I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize