He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
