we have pet lesbian snakes
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
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