margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
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