she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Randomize
