Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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