And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
