it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Randomize
