just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
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Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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