I think I just saw someone hide a body.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
