you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
