We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
