Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Randomize
