I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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