Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
