Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
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