Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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