Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Randomize
