the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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