Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
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He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
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You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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