I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
