New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Randomize
