I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
