Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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