I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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