Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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