I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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