But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
