He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Randomize
