Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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