i don't like sucking hair
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
it hurts more in the daytime
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
