she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize