Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
