I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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