im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
