the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize
