I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
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Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
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