i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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