Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
