sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
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