I think scott just propositioned me for sex
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
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