Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
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