well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
