Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting married
To pizza
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize