we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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