Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
