In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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