can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
