hotel room ftw
nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
