So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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