Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize