Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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