how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
