All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
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