You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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