I wish I could punch you in the face.
then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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