That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I have grass duct taped all over my body
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Randomize
