My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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